When some people commented,"How come your man are very understanding & sporting when he's an Asian Malay Muslim?? You know what I mean, right??",
My reply was,"At the beginning he was like other typical Asian Malay Muslim men..He commanded & I had to listen..Then after he came back from Germany, he still the same 'Mr Arrogant' whom I used to know..We always argued bcoz he disliked my new lifestyle until one fine day he asked me,"What do you really want & need from this relationship & me? Remember, I don't do break-up like other men.."..
I told him that want equality..& need my freedom as human being..Im not a pet that he feeds me now & then with all those great gifts..Then, he chained me up like Im a prisoner of war..I am the woman whom he loves; not his love slave!
I want to do things which makes me happy..like meeting my girlfriends..shopping on my own bcoz he, himself could not stand the shopping malls..Like him who meets his buddies for snooker or fishing, I also need my girlfriends now & then..Not that I don't love him or having affair with someone else; it just I don't want him to treat me like Im his possesion..as if I owe my life to him..I need him to treat me like human..like how he wants others to treat him..
I know both of us are Muslim & in Islam, men control their women whereas the women have no control over their men..Once in relationship or marriage, the women have no other friends except their men whereas the men can always keep their buddies forever..Seriously, I found it so unfair & irritating to me..I don't care that there's no fairness in this world..I just don't like that kinda rules..
I need some nights or days to go out with my girlfriends - shop, lunches or dinners or movies..I just asked hin why I can't have that kinda life? I need him to look at me like Im not a typical Asian Malay Muslim woman; Im a foreign woman..I know my skin not white but why can't he treat me like I am a Westerner & accept the fact that this is how my life is - liberal?
I want & need him to compromise with me..He can meets his buddies so, can I..Im not hating his buddies but I know they don't really like my presence there bcoz I can see their fear that their women might get influenced by me..So, I dislike such judgmental thingy..
Im a liberal thinking person but I do not go around to convert those conservatives to be like me..That's all I want & need from this relationship & him..If I can't get what I want & need, it's best that the relationship ends..He doesn't do break-up but what's the point remaining in a relationship which is miserable, right??..
That's when my "Mr Arrogant" changed to be "Mr Cutie Pie"..I still follow him to formal events or meeting his buddies once a blue moon..Yes! Some of them still dislike my western lifestyle & liberal thinking where my man listens to me..only me! hehehehe..
Only one of his buddies who is not bothered by my ways in life..His new girlfriend always asked me about what's our secret to happy relationship..
My answer always,"Have problems, sit down & talk about it..No need to telecast to parents & friends too much..Be honest..Don't hide anything for your partner..Your partner might get offended by the truth you said but if he's sincerely accepting you as who you are, he will swallow his ego, pride & change for you..No need to use force..
Like me & him - we did fights..but he always gave in - let me wins..something Im embarassed of myself too when he gave in too many times..The rest - we just have funs with each other side by side..You witnessed our conversation earlier, right?? We act that way all these years..talking rot..many said we are childish but who cares..in relationship, sometimes the man needs attention like a baby boy..some women found it annoying & pushed the men aside - that's when the men start looking elsewhere..for someone who can pamper them..That happens so many times..To me, I believe in polygamy but not all women like me..I believe in polygamy bcoz I don't have 24/7 to attend to my man so, I prefer him has someone else if Im busy with my work..Whereas at sometimes the woman needs to behave like little girl just to make the man feels young..Yes! It is crazy but that's the fact..Not all men love feeling old..like an old fart..They have ego, remember? So, act like little girl then..wear cute nighties..wear short skirt at home if that's what he likes you to wear..He will loves the child in you alot..Too serious in relationship is boring..C'mmon, loosen a bit..Well, you are NOT spending the rest of your life with a Dictator or Pharoah, right??!"..
That girlfriend burst into loud laughter..haiiizzz..that's my recipie to happy relationship - be crazy together..No one is perfect so, just embrace the flaws with open arms.."..
Some people just responded,"Seriously, you talk to your man like that..??? You are daring!"..
My response,"Not about daring, my dear but more about honesty..Both of us - me & him are getting old together so, we have no time for guessing or mental game whatsoever..Im liberal & he's conservative but we managed to compromise..That's good enough..eventhough at home, I wear the pant & he wears the skirt..Im the big boss who he reports to now & then..He respects that part of mine - bossy..
He's not awkward to make drinks for me..He's not awkward to mop the floor..There's no such thing as Im the man & the King so, you do it while I rest..A'ah..If he's the King, I am the Queen so, who's going to do what's need to be done then?? Absurd..Ridiculous, right???
That's me..Not all Asian Malay Muslim men can stand me, I know..But that's just me in relationship..I fight for my human's rights..Im a human & not robot..I have wants & needs..expectations & hopes..plans & dreams..If a man can understands & accepts that, he shouldn't be in my life..for all I know - I don't need a self-centered asshole to rule my life.."
#IStandUpForWhatIBelieveWantNeed
