- My mom told me that I was not wanted..bcoz my daddy was expecting a son but I was born to be a daughter instead..Some old Arab folks commented that if the first child is a daughter, the family will be cursed with miseries forever..bcoz first child who is a daughter is also a jinx..
*That's why I grew up to be more boyish than girlish..I played with screwdriver, spanar, hammer, nails, screws, mini saw & nuts..I used to love wearing only jeans & t-shirt..until I wrote in to the high school management that I wanted to wear long pants instead of skirt but my request was not entertained..When the boys in my class got caning for skipping class, I requested for the same but again, my request was not entertained..I played soccer, baseball & volleball during my high school..seriously, Ive no idea how to play netball..I used to hate makeup..I was like a boy during my teens..The first time I wore heeled shoes, I nearly fall down..luckily, my date hold my hand firmly..lol..
I used to practice Judo, Taebo (Taiji + Boxing) & Kickboxing..In life so far, I did beat up only a man who wanted to punch me bcoz I refused to take the money he was giving as allowance..I hate owing money to others..When Im angry, Im like a man..Oh yeah! I did carry weights..My idols are Jojo Sinclair, a Female Gladiator - Laser & NOT Miss Universe, ok!*
- I was told as a child that no one will marry me bcoz my skin is dark..
*Think again..what a child aged 5 or 6 felt when being discriminated like that..What was my sin as that child to deserved such thing..???*
- My 1st boyfriend was a good guy but when he's angry, he's a monster..He banged me on the wall once bcoz I attended to a stranger who asked for directions..He banged my left hand at a hand railing bcoz he was still angry of that incident..I chose to ignore him after he entered NS..I did not meet him again..Better NOT!
- When a (former) bestie chatted up my guyfriend..talked..giggled non-stop to him in my presence..
*Yes! No sign of respect toward me..*
- When a lil sister fallen for my guyfriend..And told me that he preferred her than me..bcoz I was not skinny to even fit into a mini skirt..& that I should always mirrored myself to remember where I stand in this world where FAT, BLACK & UGLY have no place!
*How would you feel if you were me???*
- When a guy whom I accepted all his flaws told me that he could not accept me bcoz my face was full of pimples & I was fat..His ideal woman is someone like Julia Roberts..I was only 16 & I was humiliated as such..
*My mom paid more than a thousand to treat my face until no pimple at all..With heavy heart, she placed me under strict diet of no rice for 2 years where I lost 40kg..So that men would stop criticising my face & body..
Nowadays she did expressed her worries as my body grows fatter & fatter..but I told her - Im not bothered about any criticism from any men..My dating season is over..My love-hunting has longed expired..I can live by just loving myself..No need to have any men who only love me when Im skinny..*
- When a (former) girlfriend whom I regarded as my lil sister confessed to me that she has fallen for my fiance & willing to cancel her engagement, just to marry my fiance..6 months before my wedding date..Her fiance came after me & bashed me with accusation "Why did you allow your fiance to go after my girl??"..How would I know if everything happened behind my back??? I cancelled the wedding MYSELF! Luckily the invitation cards have not been printed..if not, what a waste!
*That's why nowadays..if anyone wants my boyfriend, tell me upfront..Im willing to give up on him or let him has polygamy..I don't mind sharing my man with any women..I know I always get the BEST man - that's why many are eyeing on him..Ahakz..Tua-tua pon hangat di pasaran terbuka, nyah..auuuwww..But please please don't seduce & has affair with my man behind my back..Such affair always resurface someday..once it happens, I would be very extremely disappointed..*
- When someone send me an e-mail to tell me that she was the next girlfriend of my Paul Crispin..within less than 2 weeks we broke up & that he broke her heart after confessing that he was unable to forget me..Huh??? Tell me how should I feel??
*I replied the e-mail & cc Paul Crispin..He denied everything but how am I to trust him again? I can always love him..but it is hard for me to trust him..even if he's not guilty & had been framed!*
- A guy told me that if I am the last woman on earth & he is forced to marry me, I should not be too happy bcoz he will never have sex with me..bcoz I have no fair-skinned, no long silky hair & no skinny body like Korean actress..his dream woman..
*I advised him to be careful with his statement..bcoz if he says it to the wrong woman, he will not be able to count to five..She can put him under black magic spell in no time..He's lucky to say it to me..I only practice BITCHCRAFT..
My reply to what he said - "What makes you think I wanna have sex with you if you are the last man on earth?? You are not even white like Johnny Depp..You don't have blue eyes like Daniel Craig..You are not as rich as Tom Cruise..Think again..Not only men can choose with whom to have sex with..Nowadays, women can choose too..
Remember, I don't intend to buy the whole pig if what I get is TINY sausage..Do you understand???!!!"..That shut him up..He doesn't dare to insult me anymore..*
Ive gone thru' ALOT in life..I nearly died bcoz I could not take it anymore "test" in life..From the day I was born until the day at present..Yes! Some did jokingly said,"You have been strong over the years..If you continue, may paradise be yours.."...Whoahahahaaaa..Im a sinner..my sins piled up until it reaches the space..I don't expect paradise..I just wish someday joy & great happiness will be mine..
In Islam, many have said to me - "When God loves you alot, He sent alot of tests to you..Just look at all the Prophets..They were all been tested much worst than you.."..To me, Im not a Prophet in the first place..If God loves me, don't sent anymore tests to me..Seriously, I really have had enough of tests in life..I might not make it thru' alive the next time..That's all I can say...
