"What it feels like to lose everything precious & beloved in life?"
Whenever some people prompted me with such question, my reply,"How it feels like?? You are better off dead than open your eyes again in the morning..seriously, don't pray to go that far..but if you did, welcome to my club.."..😂😂😂😂
In the past, I have everything..I meant almost everything..A rich boyfriend eventhough he's not a millionaire..but he's showering me with lotsa money..Lady of Luck was by my side as I could easily get a job..once, I even had 2 jobs..not that I needed jobs but jobs needed me..hehehe..
I had a lot of friends bcoz I was making a lot of friends everywhere I went to..I had those former friends bcoz I pleased them a lot..seriously, I was always there for them..as best friends & ATM machine..
Money was never an issue to me bcoz I had a lot to spare - around $500-$1,000 laying around..rich, right?? Some of my exes commented,"Most of your friends existed bcoz of your money..trust me..someday when you have none, you will know who your friends really are"..
I did not mind being the ATM machine & Social Welfare Officer to those former friends bcoz I had the money which I don't know what to use on..And..Like a prayer (cam Madonna lak aku nie😍😍😍😍), those words of my assholes exes came true..Just look around me after October 2007 - after that breakup with Paul Crispin..who are stil here for & with me??
Let me list down..
Harlem
- My ex who is married..supported me financially..the best boyfriend I ever had..I will marry him even if he has nothing bcoz he has given me alot in the past..He is too young to be my sugardaddy so, I always called him "my sugarbrother" aka abang gula-gula..😂😂😂😂😂
Ree Nee
Assyura
- These two was been accused as bad influence by my some morons for being the cause of my jolly good times while my mom was hospitalised bcoz they treated me Swensen..😔😔😔😔
"Cousin" Lynn 😚😚😚😚
Zulkifli
- My buddy who was patient enough to wait for me whenever I worked late..always teased me - the most busiest person who is more busy than the world leaders..(very notti mulut tu..cam nak kena cium gitu..oopppss..hehehe)...😍😍😍😍😍
William
- My long distant friend who tried to understand why I am always out of job & depressed..but surprisingly, he never leaves me..maybe bcoz he's older so, he is able to accept the childish me..😘😘😘😘😘
In the past, my FB have more than 1,000 followers..ok..ok..I was sexy babe with big boobs..not like right now - all covered..what is there to look at..just an ugly hijab old hag...😁😁😁😁..I had more than 500 friends in Singapore..but now - right now, I am left only with these people (abovementioned) closed in my life..That is how my life turned 360 degrees in split second after that breakup with Paul Crispin where I lost almost everything except breathing..😡😡😡😡😡😡
What I have right now is the fact that I am still breathing..I still open my eyes in the morning..I still hear birds chirping & my mom nagging..I still see some people showing faces of unpleased (tarik muka menyampah) at me..I still feel my heart beating..fast each time a hottie passes by..😘😘😘😘😘😍😍😍😍..but I have lost my soul..my spirit of living..that happy-go-crazy person I used to be no longer exist..I still laugh aloud but it is no longer the same..some friends noticed that..whereas I just laugh..
Yes! Some people told me not to give up..but what is there to give up when I have lost everything?? Haiiiiiizzzz..Some people comforted me that I will make it up there..which I believe it..but what is the use of being up there when I look everywhere, everything are meaningless to me..
Nowadays I still make friends wherever I go but I always have no trust in friendship like I used to have..bcoz like wise man said,"Friends come & go..but true friends do not let go"..so, why should I waste time when new friends who will just come & go..hmmmmm..😇😇😇😇😇
So people, my advice - don't pray to lose everything like me..bcoz once you lost it, the feelings will never be the same anymore..Your laughters no longer the happiest one..Your smiles no longer the most satisfied one..everything can look great to others but to you, it seems meaningless..nothing great at all!😂😂😂😂
Ok..bye..
