Some people:
"You know what..we still can see that there's a little hope for you to get married to a MAN even after being heartbroken umpteen times..bcoz you still talk to men leisurely..
You are not like some women we knew who were heartbroken like you & out of the blues - next, we saw them partnered with another women..Those women totally given up the whole entire subject called "MEN"..To them, men no longer exist in their lives.."
I sighed & responded,"You know what..I salute & respect such women..At least they dare to move on to others who are able to love them & make them happiest eventhough of the same sex.
As for me - I still do not dare to flirt with other women..what more make another woman as my soulmate..life partner..Not bcoz of the Asian community which is still conservative & not accepting same sex relationship but bcoz I just cannot afford a girlfriend & a wife.
If those exes of mine have big dreams..high demands & expectations..I have big dreams about my relationship..I pressured myself with the high demand & expectations..
To me personally, to have a girlfriend/wife; one should earns more than $5,000 monthly & nothing less..Yes! There are women out there who ain't materialistic like me when I was in those relationships with those exes but majority are materialistic to the core..Wanna blame those women?? Wait a minute! It is all due to men having high demands & expectations which make nowadays women the same..Well, both genders seek equality, right???
To me, eventhough my girlfriend/wife is a simple person who lives a simple life; I still need to work hard to make her simple life more beautiful..I wish to let her have what she wishes for..I wish to fill up those empty parts in her life..
In reality, there's far too many competition especially amongst women..ie at workplace..besides being a place to work, it is also another place women showing off their expensive bags, shoes, clothings, watches, gadgets etc. Worst, when you cannot afford it yourself & same goes to your partner..people around in the office will look at you tiny like those miniatures in display cabinets..also, what's more painful when those people started to instigate you by pinpoint your partner's incapability to afford such priceless gems..I do not want my girlfriend/wife to feel that way..No No Nooooooo!!!
That's why upon seeing how small my monthly salary is - I decided to simply be on my own..all alone..bcoz I cannot afford a girlfriend/wife..Given a chance to earn more, inshaaa Allah I would love to move on & just be the same as those women mentioned by all of you..bcoz after Paul Crispin left, I've learnt to review & evaluate my relationships with men..& I realised that I..just me..not applying to other women..just me..I find men cannot make me happiest in love..Men only capable to demand & expect this & that from me..once unfulfilled, men just dumped & abandoned me..So far, (except Harlem) none really can afford to shower me with expensive gifts..bcoz like they said to me - you are too fat to deserve expensive gifts..ahaaaaakz..to those exes, if I wish to get the same expensive gifts; be skinny first then, they will shower me with all those privileges..
Heck care..I can buy my own expensive gifts..So, it is just me - I wish I earn alot to be able to afford a girlfriend/wife.."
