Told him..
"While you were gone (in not talking term), I've achieved alot..I had a job more than 3 months..I got my bonuses..I had great food glorious food treats..I got myself into Polytechnic to study basic law..Everything were great eventhough a bit lonely bcoz I had no one closed to share my achievements..
Then, you contacted me again one night..I'm not blaming you right now actually so, don't get me wrong..
I observed eversince your return, one by one of those greatest things slipped off my grasp..I lost my job which gave me bonuses..😭😭😭 I switched jobs more than once within a year..I lost my focus in my legal studies..Failed all subjects in 2nd semester..I failed the Criminal Law??? I was devastated bcoz I always wanted to either be Criminal or Family lawyer..not what???!!! I'm still at lost..😬😬😬😬
Due to frequent changes of jobs, my finance become unstable..due to that, I've to stop going for my night classes..I have to quit on that dream for good..😔😔😔😔
WAKE UP, MURNI!!!! 😡😡😡
No more dreaming to study law in London..No more chasing after my dream to be at least a Legal Counsel..
Now from at where I was standing, I see my life left with nothing greatest besides the fact I'm still alive..
Again, I repeat this - I'm not blaming you for all that had happened to me so far eversince you came back..I just sensed that God purposely took back all those greatest things from my life bcoz I went back to be with you..God as if telling me that He is very unhappy with such life of mine..You know who you are, right??
You should be focusing on her..on them both..live as happy family but instead, here you are focusing on me..Not that I dislike your choice to make me happy..I understand that you do all these focusing stuff just to redeem what you have done bad in the past..I know that you just wanted to continue convincing me that you are really sorry for mistreating me..
But I think it is best to let go of the past..I've stopped blaming you for what had happened in the past..
I'm aware that a day without hearing my voice is like a big no-no in your life..Not that I hate it but bcoz of the choice we made to be together again, I've lost all those greatest achievements which God has given me..when you were not around..
Added to the list of losses, you no longer have overtime work which directly indicate your monthly income will be not enough..When it is not enough, you are unable to assist me whenever I'm in deep shit of financial issues..That's when I will hurt you with the question - "What's the point having a boyfriend / man in my life if he cannot backup my finance?"
Love will not solves all the financial problems we have in life, right??
So after deep thoughts, I've decided that we cannot continue this relationship or friendship whatsoever..which we are having right now. Why we need to continue triggering God's anger, right? We need to accept the fact that we cannot even be friends without her knowledge..
Just look at the bright side..at least you still have her to backup your finances now & then..whenever your income not enough..Compared yourself with me..Frankly speaking, I've no one to depend on to backup my finances each time when you seem so unreliable to help me out financially..THAT'S MY LOSS!😥😥😥
I'm sorry if this hurt you deeply..but again, look at the bright side..you still do have them - your family to make you future promising & prosperous..whereas I have no one to rely on..to expect to assist me in making my future promising..at times, I found as if I've no more future..but it's ok as I learnt to accept the fact the this is my life..this is the path I've to walk on alone..only I am supposed to live in it..so, I just live with it..embrace it full heartedly..
Thank you for being such a great boyfriend / man to me so far..I do appreciate your loving & caring full attentions towards me so far..
Don't worry about me as I will rise up again after this..Remember, I always trust God will lead & guide me all the way..thru'out my journey in life..
Forgive me for everything..We really have to go on our separate lives..I pray that God will bless you with all the greatest - love, joy, good health, wealth & happiness - in life..Ameeeen..Please do pray the same for me, ok??..
May God bless us as always..Ameeeen.."
